The only thing that will make me feel better

Kicking back my heels on a lovely holiday at an awesome location with a book and lots of sunshine. Like the one above.
The photograph is from a Mila Jovovich photography shoot called Morning Beauty (Source : http://fashiongonerogue.com). The rest of the photos are also awesome. Not to mention Mila is simply gorgeous.

Considering my present condition where this annoying viral is totally kicking my butt and I barely have the energy to run a brush through my hair, it is refreshing to see such beautiful images.

Perfection!

On real life fairy tales

My friend, Roller-Coaster recently wrote a post called "does-persistence-pay". And I just had to add this story to substantiate.

A Bengali boy and a UP girl from IIT Kanpur started dating while they were in 2nd year. When the girl's parents found out, they cut off her allowance, her tuition fees, refused to respond to her phone calls and asked her not to come home. Her parents lived in Kanpur. I can only imagine her devastation. It must have felt like someone pulled the ground from beneath you. Her boyfriend then took up tuition classes to earn extra money for her college and allowance while her parents cut her off. And that's how they spent the remaining 3 years of college - supporting each other. When they graduated, they they both got good jobs and settled in Mumbai. Only after years of persistence did her parents finally agree to the alliance and they got married. The boy has gone beyond all his duties to help the girl's parents in every way possible despite the opposition they created at first.

Today, they are married, doing very well and happy. I am told that you can tell how madly in love they are with each other, just by looking at them.

True Story.

As told to me by a colleague who is a friend of the girl in the story.

I wonder if after seeing such rough times and getting through it together, if anyone can ever imagine separating at all. What choice do they have if the universe wants them to be together and happy? :)

Tammy and the Porcupine

During this conversation, my kid brother (I call him Tammy - pronounced Sammy like a 2 year old who cant really pronounce 'S' yet) is really mad at me and cannot even bear to look at me without wanting to hurl a large object at me. He decides to go on strike against the dessert in order to make his point and placate his ego.

Me : How much do you want this pudding? (just to bug him some more)
Tammy: As much as a monkey wants a banana.
Me: Oooo.. You really want it!
Tammy: Yes I really do!

Then he goes on to ignore both me and the pudding.

Me: You can be as angry with me as you want. But you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
Tammy: Yeah right! As much as a porcupine is missed in a nudist colony!!

LOL!
No matter how grave a fight we're having, he never ceases to crack me up :D

We threw a few more wise ones back and forth at each other. After a bit, my dad comes, throws his towel on the table between Tammy and me.
His idea of literally throwing in the towel before things got too grave between Tammy and me! He he he !!

Energy

Sometimes, when things aren't going exactly as planned and you find yourself way behind all your targets and you visualize your plans being dangled on top of the pot like a fish ready to be flushed, I can imagine why people choose to live in the hills with a little farm and chickens.

I dont know what needs more energy - Dealing with the disappointment that is possible failure or stretching yourself more than you already are.
Both are equally hard and drain just as much out of you. Depending on what your benchmarks are, both can provide equal contentment.

I need more time. More hours in the day. Either that or realistic targets. I need people to stop pushing me around. I need to know what I want and actually WANT it and not console myself with the its-makes-most-sense explanation. I need to separate the logical from the emotional. I need to stop thinking about whats practical ALL the f*cking time and just let the mind feel.

I guess its like running. I just need to find my rhythm. And I need to do it fast.
2010.. Tough!

And a new year is upon us!

And I haven't accomplished a single task from this year's resolution list. Though, I have accomplished other stuff that weren't on the list. So in order to save myself any further beating, I'm NOT going to make a list of things to do for the next year.
I only expect 2 things from myself for the next year - contentment and gratitude.

While running the risk of sounding like a complete ass, these 2 specific things are very hard for me to achieve. I belong to the set of people who are never satisfied with what life has to offer. When life does give you exactly what you desire on a platter, I manage to find one flaw (atleast) and like I have been saying a lot these days; "Cant wrap my head around it". Contentment is hard for such people. But it must be found! Gratitude is a whole other story. While I am completely aware of the eleventy million awesome things that near and dear ones do for me, I sometimes find myself guilty of taking them for granted and not expressing my gratitude enough. Many a times I have caught myself thinking "how else?" and then berate myself for being so comfortable with it. That too will change!

This year was filled with a lot of very happy memories and events. I was a lot more at peace with myself and did quite a bit to find direction. At this point, even though I don't have the specifics, I atleast have a general plan and I want to see myself sticking to that in the coming year. Good things have happened for my family this past year. And I can only see things getting better. God willing, it will! Friends have borne wonderful news and many see themselves happier. And that's somehow comforting.

My life has gone through some minor changes - new apartment, new job, new plans. I started the year with a bang and I think the momentum kind of pushed me through the year. And whaddaya know!! Time flew and before you know it, you're picking out outfits for the next new year bash! I had a wonderful birthday and a lovely Christmas and hopefully a nice new year! I had the opportunity to catch up with some old friends that I hadn't seen in ages and saw them happier and much more zen!

It hasn't all been roses. There have been phases of sadness, fall-outs with friends, career dissatisfaction etc etc. But these are problems everyone has and are bound to happen. You just have to pick up the pieces and keep rolling. (Speaking of rolling, I have in renewed rigour, signed up for gym again! I'm not taking any bets on how long I will last)

The new year will no doubt find most of us on the precipice of.. ummm.. lets call it "something" for now. Whether that something will be good or not is completely dependent on our decisions and ability to realise what we really want. Wise men say that we must clear out the old in order to let new good things come into our lives. Come on, Good! I’m making lots of room.

So here's hoping that we all realise whatever-the-hec-it-is we want, without too much drama. And hoping that our decisions will lead us to "something" good!

Happy New year!

The Decision Dance

Note: Random rambling. May not make total sense. Sure as hell doesn't make sense to me!

If a person wants to buy a new laptop or TV or any other gadget, one would normally go to all the trusted brands and do a comparative study of all factors relevant to one's requirement. After a complete analysis, you decide on what you want and go get it. You know exactly what you are buying simply because what looks good on paper works for you! Minimum confusion. Maximum accuracy.

One can only wish everything in life was as simple as that. But things aren't always that black and white. Infact if there was a visual aid for life, it would look like a giant football field with a 1 mm wide periphery, the short sides are white and long sides are black. And ALL that space in the centre is grey. That's life!! One giant football field full of grey.

There are no right answers. Nothing you do or say will give you a 100/100. If you're lucky, it may look like a debate with the majority agreeing with you. And you walk away with the prize. Note: If you're lucky!

Anyways.. what was I saying?!? Decisions!! The thing with decisions is that if it affected only your life, it wouldn't be so confusing. But when you see how you're decisions affect the lives of others, that when it gets messy. And then you start this little flow chart in your head where you figure all your decision boxes and possible courses of actions. And I'll bet atleast once, in everyone's life, there will be a flow chart where whichever leg you take, the final outcome is always "You're screwed". Its one of those jokes that the universe thinks is funny. And you're NOT laughing!

What do you do? The decision dance.. you swing from one end of the decision box to the other.. Maybe I want to do this - No.. wait.. I want to do that - Hang on.. ummm.. I want the other thing - That - This - That - This.. You get the drift! It would atleast be a little fun if there was some music to go with it.. But all I can hear in my head is the devil's beat.

The challenge - To finally pin point on a course of action that doesn't result in a blitzkrieg.
The hope - To figure out what I want. And possibly, a cheat code.
The wish - To be 6 months old like my little niece whose only challenge in life is to grab both her feet and shove them in her mouth or.. do a double roll. How cool is her life!!

Another Passage

Tomorrow marks the last day I work at my present company. And even though I feel nothing about leaving or any personal attachment towards it, I'm still freaking out a little.

I remember when I gave the interview, I was not serious at all. And then I moved anyway. Now I'm leaving again. And it feels very different from the last time. A lot less nervous, not at all overwhelmed and it feels completely logical.

This company taught me one very important lesson:
No matter how much I bust my ass over work, the only person noticeably benefited is the CEO. And since he doesn't know my name or that I exist, my problems will never be real to him. Move on! Corporations don't appreciate philanthropy.

And yet, I'm feeling a little angsty.

I like to imagine that somewhere, future Resh is reading this and rolling over with laughter at present Resh's persistent naivety.

P.S: I really hope she's laughing.

Grey Gardens

Really wish this movie would come to India. I cannot wait to watch it. It seems like a classic!

"My mother gave me a completely priceless life."
-- "Little Edie" Beale, 1917-2002

If anyone has access to a soft copy or CD or anything, let me know.

Be still my heart!

Dear Man with his head up his Butt,


I hope that the next time you take your little fighter jet out for a spin, you crash!! Why don't you find some man size pants and stop hiding under a skirt called recession!?!

No Love,
Reshma


On another note, I'm presently lusting these Balmian beauties.. only I can never afford them!! Not yet atleast :P

Diwali

The festival of lights. The city looks gorgeous but sounds like a battleground. If one lived in hole and wasn't aware what day it was, it would be pretty believable that there was a war going on.

On that note, hoping everyone is having a Happy and Safe Diwali!

P.S: Loving all the mithai and hoping to burn some noiseless pretty crackers tomorrow :)

Busting some stress

Christian Louboutin centred by reshmakoshy featuring Christian Louboutin shoes

It all started with those Christian Louboutin shoes. And along came the Valentino satin clutch... and then it was as if I was sleep walking.

I'm feeling so much better now! :D Even if it is virtual :P

Bring food!

My day cant possibly go more horribly wrong. I have been in office for 17 hours now. We left office and half way back, we turned around and came straight back for another(what a surprise!) problem. I'm hungry and I ended up dropping my sandwich on the floor. I'm thirsty and I somehow picked melon juice (thinking it was kiwi) and had to drink it.I hate melons!!
I'm still here.
I HATE the world!

Musings of a Girl amongst Akarus and Munds

Socaially awkward malyalee(SAM) incident
Me: So who all at this table are malyalees? (Trying to be funny and with my my brighest smile.. even though i have slept less than 8 hours in the last 48 hours)
SAM: Avoids full eye contact and points meekly at 2 other folks at the table and himself.
Me: Which part of Kerala are u from?
SAM: (Looks at me like I asked him in Greek.) Myself from Chennai. Parents originally from Kerala and now settled in Chennai.

FULLSTOP. (I wish there was a capital letter for . )
So much for dinner time conversation.

Please take a moment to applaud his grammar. His English teacher will choke with pride!

Crazy Egyptian Incident
Crazy Egyptian is the dude in charge and his only responsibility during this entire duration is to furrow his brows and ask questions that noone responds to. But seriously, the furrowing of the brow!! And as soon as there is a problem, his eyes get all squinty and and his brows start furrowing really deep. So much that I genuinely believe that he has bone structure jutting out of his forehead. Like 2 furrow horns.
So anyway, my teammates and I are walking back from the cafeteria and chatting about something in English.
This dude is walking right behind, catches up with us and says, "One day I'm gonna get all my Egyptian friends and start talking to them in Arabic and then we'll see how you feel".
Reaction from the 3 of us: Blink. Blink. Blink. Walk away puzzled.
We were talking in English!

Oh Oh.. and I should mention the part about the handshaking. I want you to do this for you to understand. Go to your kitchen and shake hands with a slice of bread! That's how weird it was!

Polite American incident
This is not so much an incident as it is an experience. Always smiles and stops to say hello, passes the water, makes easy chatter, and does not treat me differently just because I'm the only girl in a team of .. oh.. I dunno.. a 100 men!! But then again, its not surprising considering most Americans are like that.

A country full of silly Malyalees and bizarre arabs!

Tadaaaaaaa!!!!!

For those who want to snorkel in style :D
Hilarious!!

The 4 food groups.. err.. (I cant say it!!)

Category 1
Has the perfect person in their life and lives the fabulous life but does not know the meaning of commitment. When crunch time comes, they fail to feel the rush they ought to feel or atleast a little fear if said person were to leave them. And so they are, for lack of a better phrase, walking a tight rope.

Category 2
Has the word "commitment" pinned down in a boxer's grip and will die but not let go. But the person they should really be pinning down, is busy looking at a butterfly fluttering in the wind. One way street. Yellow signal. Should they speed up and drive right past or slow down?

Category 3
Who? what? where? marriage? Gasp! Cross.. Garlic! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Category 4
Found each other. Everything worked out. Rainbows. Unicorns. Glitter. Sunshine. Our parents and all the other happy couples in the world.

I'm category 3 right now and the whole situation just makes me want to run to the Himalayas and live like a hermit.

P.S: This may be an awkward post. I may have brought up a taboo subject. I may as well have talked about the colon and its functions (to point out how I'm so not ready for it and how I will speak of anything but.. err.. the four food groups!) or described the blairwitch project (to emphasize how scary the whole situation is).

P.P.S: Everyone wishes they were Category 4. So all those who are. You hit jackpot! :D I envy you as only a Category 3 can!

P.P.P.S: Rumzzz... babe.. You deserve a special congratulations! And im so bummed about not making it for your engagement.
Also, you have made an "appearance" on a blog that has exactly 6 followers :D UR FAMOUS!

Retarded Imbeciles

Apparently my personal life is of great interest to some people here at my work place. Face-less couldn't-care-less-what-the-hell-their-names-are people. May I interject that the people in question here are juniors.. Fresh off the canteen college grads.

I know that it is difficult to transition into a professional mould as soon as one graduates. But that does not mean it's ok to be plain retarded. So much so that one's credibility as a valuable resource is jeopardized. And I have seen that happening to a couple of freshers in my team. Talented people brushed aside as useless only because they cant keep their trap shut! Honestly, if I were setting up a team, I wouldn't want them in my team either. Especially since I'm aware that one of their many(useless) subjects of conversation, involves my personal life.

I'm amazed where they get their information from. Or what they were smoking when they reiterate it to someone else. Because the next person has a totally different version of the original (but still false) story.

When I was a fresh faced college grad at my first ever job, I was petrified. Shitting bricks in my pants each time I didn't have an answer for a question. Some of these kids are plain cocky and stupid.

The Silver Lining

Yesterday, I celebrated my 26th birthday. What I thought would be a devastating day for me, turned out to be a brilliant day filled with loads of wishes and love from family and friends, even estranged friends. And I couldnt have asked for the day to unfold more brilliantly.

The previous day, I received a large bouquet of colourful flowers from a friend who's not in town. What a surprise! And a day early! But I wasn't complaining. Nothing like flowers to make you feel all happy and cheerful! Hey Gautam ;)

Pre-birthday flutter. Check.

At midnight, my 2 beautiful flatmates jump started my birthday with a nice little birthday cake (lit up) and a party hat for me. Somewhere between "Happy Birthday to you" and "May God bless you", they realised that the whole thing was too civilised for their comfort. And before I knew it, I was wearing a chocolate cream facepack.

Beauty Regimen face pack. Check.

When I woke up in the morning, I was greeted with a giant cake, flowers and .. believe it or not.. a musical card from my Dad. How cute is that? Trust dads to come up with something that unbelievably cute and tacky.. just to give you the giggles! And if that wasnt a perfect enough, a friend of mine dropped in to wish me and say Hi before I embarked on the monumentous task of "dealing with being 26". Hi Su! :D

Feel good. Check.

As the day wore on, so did my cellphone battery. I was swamped with phone calls all day. And Boy! It felt good to talk to people, ones I hadn't spoken to in ages.

Get back in the loop. Check.

In the evening, after receiving strict instructions to dress up (Or like Barney says, Suit Up!), I got dressed and was taken to The Tapas Lounge in Caperberry. It was a brilliant idea because the place was very nice. I'm just going to let the photos do all the talking now :)



And the location scout courtesy Mads :)


The awesome cake.. All thanks to Rashmi and Swe


Since I am in love with all things numbered, bulleted, post-it(ed) and in general, oragnized, I loved the post-it card they gave me


And since we are on the subject of shoes, here are some fabulous statement shoes


Edit: I recently discovered the efforts Ramya and Su made to ensure that I got my birthday gift on the 27th itself and not later. There was a lot of last minute running around for it. And I'm so thankful that they made the effort :)



Have a badass B'day. Check!

Thanks to my family and friends who delightfully surprised me with their love and care when I least expect it. I wont last a day without all of them!

Get away car

Another song that I have been listening to nonstop. And I cant help feeling she couldnt be more right.

K T Tunstall - Saving My Face

There's only so much chocolate you can eat before you get sick of it, wear your favourite heels until they lose its sheen, watch a movie until it bores you, listen to a track till the notes annoy you. There is only so much you can tolerate of the same thing over and over again.

And one day, the things you were procrastinating because you were having too much fun, take a higher precedence in your list of priorities. Sheer urge to escape being the only motivation.

I hope I have enough thrust to make it to my get away car.

What If?

I found this hilarious song about marriage. Sandi Thom. What if I'm right

That's all I have to say on the subject :)

P.S:
"You won't forsake me, your mother won't hate me
But I got my doubts & what if I'm right" ...LOL

No Aliens.. No Meteors.. No Species

Over lunch, a colleague was describing a movie where a bunch of scientists as an experiment for the government create some sort of contraption that drills down to the core of the earth, lodges itself over there and stops the earth's rotation. And what started out as an experiment (metaphorically reminiscent of a little boy I once knew who set his own pants on fire!) turns ugly and now earth and its beings are faced with extinction. Obviously some hero/scientist/stubbly hot dude with soda-bottle glasses jumps in and saves the day in true Hollywood style.

It sounds like a stupid movie and so over done in that "Deep Impact" or "Independence day" sort of way. I don't know why I'm even writing this. I dont even know its name. Maybe there's a part of me really wishing the earth would stop rotating right now.