And I haven't accomplished a single task from this year's resolution list. Though, I have accomplished other stuff that weren't on the list. So in order to save myself any further beating, I'm NOT going to make a list of things to do for the next year.
I only expect 2 things from myself for the next year - contentment and gratitude.
While running the risk of sounding like a complete ass, these 2 specific things are very hard for me to achieve. I belong to the set of people who are never satisfied with what life has to offer. When life does give you exactly what you desire on a platter, I manage to find one flaw (atleast) and like I have been saying a lot these days; "Cant wrap my head around it". Contentment is hard for such people. But it must be found! Gratitude is a whole other story. While I am completely aware of the eleventy million awesome things that near and dear ones do for me, I sometimes find myself guilty of taking them for granted and not expressing my gratitude enough. Many a times I have caught myself thinking "how else?" and then berate myself for being so comfortable with it. That too will change!
This year was filled with a lot of very happy memories and events. I was a lot more at peace with myself and did quite a bit to find direction. At this point, even though I don't have the specifics, I atleast have a general plan and I want to see myself sticking to that in the coming year. Good things have happened for my family this past year. And I can only see things getting better. God willing, it will! Friends have borne wonderful news and many see themselves happier. And that's somehow comforting.
My life has gone through some minor changes - new apartment, new job, new plans. I started the year with a bang and I think the momentum kind of pushed me through the year. And whaddaya know!! Time flew and before you know it, you're picking out outfits for the next new year bash! I had a wonderful birthday and a lovely Christmas and hopefully a nice new year! I had the opportunity to catch up with some old friends that I hadn't seen in ages and saw them happier and much more zen!
It hasn't all been roses. There have been phases of sadness, fall-outs with friends, career dissatisfaction etc etc. But these are problems everyone has and are bound to happen. You just have to pick up the pieces and keep rolling. (Speaking of rolling, I have in renewed rigour, signed up for gym again! I'm not taking any bets on how long I will last)
The new year will no doubt find most of us on the precipice of.. ummm.. lets call it "something" for now. Whether that something will be good or not is completely dependent on our decisions and ability to realise what we really want. Wise men say that we must clear out the old in order to let new good things come into our lives. Come on, Good! I’m making lots of room.
So here's hoping that we all realise whatever-the-hec-it-is we want, without too much drama. And hoping that our decisions will lead us to "something" good!
Happy New year!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Decision Dance
Note: Random rambling. May not make total sense. Sure as hell doesn't make sense to me!
If a person wants to buy a new laptop or TV or any other gadget, one would normally go to all the trusted brands and do a comparative study of all factors relevant to one's requirement. After a complete analysis, you decide on what you want and go get it. You know exactly what you are buying simply because what looks good on paper works for you! Minimum confusion. Maximum accuracy.
One can only wish everything in life was as simple as that. But things aren't always that black and white. Infact if there was a visual aid for life, it would look like a giant football field with a 1 mm wide periphery, the short sides are white and long sides are black. And ALL that space in the centre is grey. That's life!! One giant football field full of grey.
There are no right answers. Nothing you do or say will give you a 100/100. If you're lucky, it may look like a debate with the majority agreeing with you. And you walk away with the prize. Note: If you're lucky!
Anyways.. what was I saying?!? Decisions!! The thing with decisions is that if it affected only your life, it wouldn't be so confusing. But when you see how you're decisions affect the lives of others, that when it gets messy. And then you start this little flow chart in your head where you figure all your decision boxes and possible courses of actions. And I'll bet atleast once, in everyone's life, there will be a flow chart where whichever leg you take, the final outcome is always "You're screwed". Its one of those jokes that the universe thinks is funny. And you're NOT laughing!
What do you do? The decision dance.. you swing from one end of the decision box to the other.. Maybe I want to do this - No.. wait.. I want to do that - Hang on.. ummm.. I want the other thing - That - This - That - This.. You get the drift! It would atleast be a little fun if there was some music to go with it.. But all I can hear in my head is the devil's beat.
The challenge - To finally pin point on a course of action that doesn't result in a blitzkrieg.
The hope - To figure out what I want. And possibly, a cheat code.
The wish - To be 6 months old like my little niece whose only challenge in life is to grab both her feet and shove them in her mouth or.. do a double roll. How cool is her life!!
If a person wants to buy a new laptop or TV or any other gadget, one would normally go to all the trusted brands and do a comparative study of all factors relevant to one's requirement. After a complete analysis, you decide on what you want and go get it. You know exactly what you are buying simply because what looks good on paper works for you! Minimum confusion. Maximum accuracy.
One can only wish everything in life was as simple as that. But things aren't always that black and white. Infact if there was a visual aid for life, it would look like a giant football field with a 1 mm wide periphery, the short sides are white and long sides are black. And ALL that space in the centre is grey. That's life!! One giant football field full of grey.
There are no right answers. Nothing you do or say will give you a 100/100. If you're lucky, it may look like a debate with the majority agreeing with you. And you walk away with the prize. Note: If you're lucky!
Anyways.. what was I saying?!? Decisions!! The thing with decisions is that if it affected only your life, it wouldn't be so confusing. But when you see how you're decisions affect the lives of others, that when it gets messy. And then you start this little flow chart in your head where you figure all your decision boxes and possible courses of actions. And I'll bet atleast once, in everyone's life, there will be a flow chart where whichever leg you take, the final outcome is always "You're screwed". Its one of those jokes that the universe thinks is funny. And you're NOT laughing!
What do you do? The decision dance.. you swing from one end of the decision box to the other.. Maybe I want to do this - No.. wait.. I want to do that - Hang on.. ummm.. I want the other thing - That - This - That - This.. You get the drift! It would atleast be a little fun if there was some music to go with it.. But all I can hear in my head is the devil's beat.
The challenge - To finally pin point on a course of action that doesn't result in a blitzkrieg.
The hope - To figure out what I want. And possibly, a cheat code.
The wish - To be 6 months old like my little niece whose only challenge in life is to grab both her feet and shove them in her mouth or.. do a double roll. How cool is her life!!
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