Hitch Twitch

Today,I played love-doctor to a couple of friends of mine (i know wat ur thinking.. couple of them wanted to talk to u on the same day?? .. wat can i say.. must have been one of those all-planets-aligned day ).

One of them actually said and I Quote:

him: resh resh.. you can wear a saffron sari carry some ash.. and start giving blessings with some advice

him: people will worship you
you can earn a lot

me: shut up..
dont make fun of me
im serious..

him: everytime i turn to you for advice..not joking..everytime i turn to you for advice, you say something really nice that makes me think

Unquote

Lol.. Picturing myself like that makes me feel like a fraud.
Me.. giving advice..on relationships...Im a walking talking Hiroshima in that department. :P

Ironically, My Today's fortune: Time is the wisest counselor

Wonder why im still so confused!! Floof :D

Chisel

My lifestyle and working conditions have resulted in catastrophic reactions on my body.. namely..

1. my jeans fit me a little too snug for comfort..
   


2. i pant like a bloody dog if i run so much as 10 feet..
   


3. i have become lazy beyond hope..
   


4. and all i ever eat now a days is absolutely unhealthy food.

I have recently realised that all the excess baggage accumulating on my body is not going to magically disappear by folding my hands and blinking once.So i looked at myself long and hard one day and decided that the ways of the glotton and sloth have to change. And I dont have the will power to do it on my own.

Personally, I hate exercise. I hate entering a gym even more. The treadmill is the absolute worst.. i mean .. come on!! ur running and running and not reaching anywhere!! Its the most frustrating way to lose weight and get healthy. I would much rather run on the street if it weren't for all those goddamn dogs on the roads all over town.. and all the recent news about the street dogs attacking people has done little to comfort my paranoia.

So i decided to enroll with Chisel for their Aerobics programme. I figured that would be more my speed as all i ever imagined people doing in aerobics is happily jumping up and down with high energy music in the background.. almost like dance. And dancing is something i enjoy a lot. So why not aerobics?

The first day i showed up with a friend for the session..full of enthusiasm.. all excited about the new 'good thing' i was going to start. The instructor asked me to start slow and take breaks whenever i felt like.. He kept stressing on "SLOW!!"

Within 15 minutes, i wanted to DROP DEAD!! In my head i was thinking " Why God?? Why me??" ..I was cursing the instructor.. myself.. the damn music.. everything.. im sure if the Pope had stood in front of me right then .. i would have cursed him as well..

The instructor saw my wretchedness and called out "Yo.. first day first show!! take it slow" and gave me a big smile that said "ur gonna kill yourself if u dont listen to me.. the Almighty!!" !! I wanted to right hook him then and there.. then jump on him like i would jump on a trampolien. All i did was smile back and showed him a thumbs up (Although I wanted to show him the middle finger!!)

Within 30 minutes.. I was panting.. dripping with sweat.. and stopping the routine every 5 minutes (Sometimes out of exhaustion.. but more often because i did not know what the hell the cues were )

By the time the workout was over .. I wanted to pass out right there on the fitness mat where i did my crunches. Oh dear Lord!! I felt like my whole life was flashing before my eyes and i would never see daylight again.. LOL.. this feeling lasted 10 minutes. Once i was outside breathing fresh air ( aka. exhaust from vehicles on richmond road during peak hour), i was glad i came out of that alive..

All of the above description may sound like gross exaggeration. But a workout like that is more tiring than 2 hours of fierce basketball(which is that max I can do!) and not as easy as it looks.

After a few more sessions, the extent of my agony has reduced . I still miss a lot of cues.. I still cant match the pace of the class and need to take quick breaks to catch my breath.. but all in all.. going good :)

Frog in the Throat

I am pretty sure almost everybody has been in this peculiar situation where you feel like the words that you want to say just get stuck in your throat .. to the point where you feel like you may just choke.

For the remaining who have never been in such a situation.. I have one question..
How the hell are you still alive after spending your whole life shooting your mouth off like that??!!

Its a pretty unnerving situation to be in.. especially when you come close to the point where you might pick up something and hurl it at the person involved ..or worse.. say wats on your mind!!

And then you daydream that you finally give diplomacy the boot.. and decide for once to stand up and speak .. come what may.. coz in your mind you have decided that the consequences, no matter how grave, are better than sitting around like a chicken. Then you hear the entire choir orchestra in your head.. and you are thinking.. I have finally been exalted.. I dont have to suffer the burden of my knowledge anymore.. salvation!!

And when the moment of truth arrives.. I hear myself saying..
"Hey.. Howz it goin?? " with a slight nonchalant tilt of my head as I engage in idle conversation and later walk away..
And yet again in my head.. I hear the looney tunes soundtrack as I drown back into the well where the frog lives..no redemption..no exaltation..no salvation..only chicken!!