My Hattrick - where's my Hat?

Merriam Webster definition:
Main Entry : hat trick
Function : noun
Etymology : probably from the former practice of rewarding the feat with the gift of a hat
Date : 1877

1 : the retiring of three batsmen with three consecutive balls by a bowler in cricket
or
2 : the scoring of three goals in one game (as of hockey or soccer) by a single player
or
3 : a series of three victories, successes, or related accomplishments

Highway Rhapsodies definition:
Main Entry : hat trick
Function : to remind me of how stupid I can be
Etymology : probably from the day my geography teacher made me wear a "DUFUS" hat in 5th standard for not doing my homework(for the 3rd time) and made me stand in the corridor for God, the disapproving nuns, the laughing children and all His other holy creatures to see.
Date : 1994-till however long I continue to be stupid.

1 : 3 years lived by one person
and
2 : 3 people made friends by one person
and
3 : 3 complete disasters said person got caught in in said 3 years with said three "friends".

I'm just terrible with people.

This year my hat looks like this:


If this ever happens to me again, i'll be wearing this on my head as a hat: