Lost Cause...

I have always wondered how some people are so detached from everything.. If a rocketship crashes at thier feet or someone at a resteraunt slaps them, throws the glass of water on their face and shows them the finger.. nothing... they are as composed as a person getting a nobel prize.. like they dont know the meaning of the term shell shocked..

As if they have this force field around them that cocoons them from everything or numbs everything that is sharp... and all they are eventually left with is the placid and calm feeling .. nirvana..

and when u see their face.. its almost as if they are saying..
u can can do whatever u wanna do.. u aint gonna get to me!!!!

and im thinking... my God!!! How the fuck are u so calm.. i mean come on.. wat are u.. stone??!!

and another part in me says.. i wanna be that.. learn how to not scream and throw something at someone when im losing the last shred of sanity i have..

I wanna be able to stand there.. look around where everything is burning and feel like im standing along the sea shore..calm.. composed... and most importantly.. detached...

Memories fading .. greying .. blurring

Independence..new friends..long phone conversations...trips.. weekends at home.. making more new friends..merger.. standing around drinking coffee..disappointment.. contact.. rekindling old relationships.. building new ones.. ambition.. driven.. ooty green.. working like a donkey.. opportunities.. breaking rules..new work.. anxiousness.. nervousness.. more sleepless nights.. more comfort from old friends.. overnights..sleepovers.. fuel.. tibetan evil.. bonding like never before.. dancing.. the beach.. losing it.. finding yourself.. snap judgements.. wrong impressions.. unconditional affection.. drifting away.. unanswered questions.. thankful.. mom.. family.. friends.. realizations.. running away..seeking answers.. God.. religion.. breaking free..Casa..sing-alongs..straight hair..same person.. big brown eyes.. kindness.. strangers.. no longer friends.. sweeping under the carpet.. turn away...

put it all in a box.. label it 2006.. lock it and throw the key away...

work on filling up a new box...

Blue Eyed Girl

I have never believed in reading the lines of your hand.. i have never discredited it either..there isnt enough proof to for me to biased either ways..
But i have always enjoyed things like this.. because... its .. well .. fun..
and it gives you some sense of contentment.. even if its momentary... that everything is going to work out just fine.. something to sheild your insecurities.. even though a part of you says that its a myth.. because its too good to be true..

A really sweet uncle of mine researches palmistry as a hobby. The last time i saw him, at my cousin's reception dinner, my cousins pestered him to read everyone's hands. After a lot of teasing, pulling everyone's leg, serious advice and more fun..he told me this:

I have never seen a hand like yours..
You are the blue-eyed-child of this family.. You will be extremely successful in your career..
More successful than anyone else amongst the other children of the family..
You should never lose focus .. work hard.. and your hand will guide you
You will be the top brass.. one day.. for sure..

After having said that.. and after i was done grinning like an idiot.. i asked him..
Well, that covers my professional life.. wat about my personal life??

Silence...

He smiled, gave a peck on my forehead and walked away..joined his wife to socialize with the others..
I'm standing there thinking...
Oh boy.. i hear divorce bells!! He he..

that does not exactly sound blue eyed.. now does it!!?? Well.. you cant win them all....I guess that makes me a regular black-eyed girl..

Mirror mirror on the wall.... who is the fairest of them all?? i wish life was like Snow white and the seven dwarfs:)... I played snowwhite in the 3rd standard skit :D

Its been a really long time since i wrote anything here .. work kept me away.. but now that everything looks too good to be true on the work front.. im back to pen down more things that im pretty sure does not make sense.. and when i read it again..i will ask myself.. "What the hell was i thinking??!!"..

But if everything made sense to me.. then i would be God!! Resh Almighty :P

My weekend was a blurr!! I dont know when it came and where it went. Its almost as if i have been moving at warp speed and if i wish to recall all the things i did over last week and the weekend.. im gonna have to think real hard!! and still not be able to remember it all..

but the highlights are clear..topping the list is Gautam's birthday!! probably the last birthday he will celebrate with us.. next year.. he will have a whole new bunch of American or ABCD freinds making a mess of the surprises they had in store for him... We will miss you :)

I heard the new track from Nelly Furtado last night and thought it was apt:

Honestly what will become of me
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
We miss everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

and they say i am weird!!

I got tagged.. so here goes.. First up ... Rules:

Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things about you". People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

Next order of the moment.. My weird eccentricities:

1. I lose it when things dont go according to plan.. a total control freak
2. I organize my cupboard when im stressed out (i think its therapeutic)
3. I get really psyched when people get under my bedspread and on my bed sheets without showering first.
4. I have always imagined time travel.. going back to the 18th or the 19th century and wonder how they would react to us(21st century) ..imagning their disbelieving faces esp the disbelieving faces of the english characters from classic novels... (I know wat ur thinking..i have got start reading murder mysteries more!!!)
5. I am extremely scared to cross roads in bangalore.. its a newly developed phobia.. so bad that i cant cross until someone holds my hand and drags me across the street.. otherwise i will take forever
6. I learnt how to swim 12 years ago.. and i still dont know how to nose dive from the diving board without swallowing a lung full of water :D

Dream On!

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun
- Sheryl Crow

I dunno who she was kidding!!

Pee-ka-Boo!!

Its so funny when u see urself change over time.. its like you float outside of ur body and watch urself transition from one person to another person that you didnt know you could be a few months ago... watch yourself transition from one person to another that you didnt know existed a few months...

Time is a weird thing..its both cruel and kind at the same time.

And im not exactly sure how i feel about that..

Losing Grip

I am a an Army kid...and for the first time in my life.. im wishing that i wern't.. because wen u realise that the price paid to save your countrymen from terrorism and war is so high .. it just does not seem like its worth it.. when the price paid is the life of young men.. a young man..a young boy.. whom you did lab experiments with.. whom you sat on the same bench with in bio class.. whom you went to school with in the same school bus.. whom you fought with when you wanted more marks than him in a test..

i lost a friend of mine to terrorism on Saturday.. I was watching a movie with my friends when he probably got shot by those bastards..when he was bleeding to death.. away from his family.. in the most beautiful place there is on the planet.. Kashmir.. that now i think of as a hell hole..

all those people who kill in the name of religion or whatever .. BASTARDS.

they took a friend away from me.. a son ..a brother.. and most importantly.. a boy.. who was meant to live a long wholesome life.. i hope they realise that even their God is never going to forgive them.. for they have sinned..

I wept uncontrollably yesterday... but he is never going to come back.

This entry is dedicated to Leuitenant Parthiban, JAK LI(Light Infantry).. we all love you.. but its too late now to say that.. and more importantly.. we all miss you.

The Devil Wears Prada

Meryl Streep is brilliant.. Anne Hathaway is beautiful... the movie is a total chick flick... but totally worth it at the same time because under all that glamour is a common problem faced by almost all working people ..chick or no chick...

Miranda(Streep) is the Dragon Lady of the fashion world, editor in chief of the most coveted fashion magazine..The Runway..The flipside is that her married life is hanging by a thread..She is so uptight and snooty and bitchy that everybody in the office is shitting bricks in their pants when they are around her or know that she is approaching. A hard taskmaster(and i dont mean it in a good way at all).. she expects her employess to make the impossible happen and she does not care how..

Andy(Hathaway) is a bright,intelligent,aspiring journalist who turned down Harvard Law School in search of a break that would launch her and make her visible in the literary world. Runway seemed to be the place and being Miranda's assistant was the opportunity. Little did she know that she was going to work for the devil herself.. a very expensively dressed devil.

The story deals with the decay of personal life as one becomes more successful
The deceit and politics involved in the world of the rich and powerful..
The tough choices made to climb up the sucess ladder..
The loneliness in the lives of the sucessful..
The whirlwind you get caught in to make it big..
All thats right and wrong seem to blend and fuse together..
How one sells their soul to the devil for fame, power and success.

At one point or another we have all faced one of these problems..

One of the dialogues that really struck me is as follows:
"When your personal life is dead.. its time for a promotion"..

A must watch for all.. totally paisa vasool..:D

Hello stranger!!

I find it very amusing when u happen to meet friends of the friend ur with and ur friend absolutely forgets to introduce you to the others and vice versa..

now comes the fun part.. ur all awkward coz u have to politely stand there and smile not knowing who the damn person is...and in ur head ur thinking "my God!! does ur friend have no social etiquettes?" he/she is making the whole thing so weird for both parties..

imagine.. leave the friend out of this scene.. ur standing in front of this stranger and politely smiling with no end in sight.. how funny is that?

so since ur friend does not have the manners.. one of the two parties.. usually me.. takes the initiative to introduce onself.. "Hi! I'm reshma..." Usually i want to add "I'm sorry that my friend is so shy(sarcastic)"...but then i bite my tongue and stop myself.

In case u didnt already know this.. when people in a group dont know everybody..for God's sake .. Intoduce them and spare the poor people the awkardness..

Shop-o-mania or Shop-o-phobia?

I go bonkers when i go out shopping for myself.. i hate it .. i hate it.. i HATE it...
especially when the agenda for the day is to go shopping.. All those who say that shopping is the cure for all the stress in the world.. BULLSHIT!!!!..

It adds to the stress when you have to wait outside a trial room in never-ending looooong queues to try on a million things and then worry if it suits you.. if the colour is right.. if its value for money... OH MY GOD!!! Somebody let me out of here....

Its one thing when you find something nice by chance.. serendipity.. Shopping was not on ur mind but you found something nice n picked it up.. now thats good.. that makes you feel good..

But when you are out looking for something and go in n out of a million stores to find that perfect outfit.. man... can that be frustrating!!!.. shopping is an instant migraine trigger for me...never fails..
go shopping.. a while later.. head throbbing!!

I now understand the concept of hiring people to shop for you.. i would hire one in a jiffy if i could afford one;)

Become so NUMB!

I have worked on crazy things since morning and all i wanna do right now is open a window n scream.. but since i cant do that.. im gonna do it right here..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

much better!!:)

Its Never Enough

It seems that no matter how long you have known people, its just not enough..because just when u think that u got them figured, they do something to completely surprise and throw the entire equilibrium off balance. Makes you wonder if its worth all the time and effort invested.. for an absolute control freak, these little bursts of inconsistency are enough to want to shoot them in the head..

This also brings u to a pessimistic but nonetheless,interesting way of looking at people.. that if ur shit out of luck, u will only find the most difficult people to make friends with ..and if there is even a 50% chance of that misfortune.. then its a lot better to stay away from the whole enchilada.. saves u a lot of trouble..

Another Year

Been wanting to put this out there for a long time now.. just not had the time..

Another year just rolled by and i dont know where it went..It was pretty much the most hectic birthday in my whole life.. with half the day spent in trivandrum and the other half in bangalore..The half day spent in trivandrum was just utter chaos..full house.. n too hard to explain over here..

When i reached bangalore in the evening i was cheerfully greeted by one of my good friends..the drama queen;) (Pls dnt kill me).. but i was totally caught offguard when some other friends of mine(Swetha,Gautam,Hemanth & Rakesh) also showed up at the airport to see me.. i was jumping up n down in total and absolute glee .. the people at the parking lot must have thought i went mad..

We drove straight to Casa Picola in Jayanagar where some more friends joined us .. it was the regular routine with the cake,good food n loads of laughter..followed by coffee at Kalmane coffee shop(they make THE best coffee)..

They tried to make each thing a surprise for me but unfortunately each surprise kept falling apart n i came to know about everything before they could surprise me.. good try you guys.

better luck next time.. if there is a next time.. Thank you so much for making my day special.. my best memory is when i saw u guys at the airport and flipped out with happiness..That image is framed in my mind for life..

Although it was really pleasing to see everyone make such a huge effort to make my day.. i guess i have reached a stage where my birthday feels like any other day.. the excitement is all gone and whats left is just another regular day..and the fact that i have reached such a stage makes me a little sad..

P.S: a certain dear friend of mine completely forgot to wish me and till date does not remember.. if ur reading this.. u know who u are.. and there is nothing u can do about the damage done

SWEET HOME ALABAMA .. err.. MADRAS

i have had the most amazing 5 day weekend ever.. (ummm.. thats a week ain't it?)

its just so much fun to lie in bed till 12 noon.. have breakfast brought to bed.. roam around in pyjamas till 4 pm.. a lazy shower and the oldest pair of jeans and t-shirt(really worn out.. my mom swears she is going to giv it to the maid to use as a mop.. he he he).. have a car around anytime u wanna go out.. the spoilt life all through..

Living at home is just luxury all the way..

I didnt call up any of my friends to meet up.. i was soo content with home n time spent with mom.. they are gonna beat me up if they read this.. n then disown me.. but i dont care.. it just felt so good to be home.. n with mom:D .. n all the yummy food (that unfortuntely is showing on me.. but wat the hec) ..

its such a bummer that i have to be back ..

Happy for no reason:D

I woke up today morning feeling extremely sleepy.. but along with that.. i was also feeling very happy.. for no reason at all.. grinning ear to ear:D

I am part of the spoilt generation who detest waking up early and getting out of the house by 7:30am. But not today..

Its good to have these kinda days.. the whole day feels like a breeze and you feel like spreading the joy..Anything anybody asks is granted and tensions just dissolve away..Nothing bogs you down and its a feel good day no matter how crappy you look (and trust me .. u dont look very good when you just about manage to fall out of bed and into the damn cab every morning).

I have been trying to figure out all day what could possibly cause this...but hec.. why waste time on trying to analyse this..Good things dont need a reason to happen..as long as they keep happenin..:)

IMPACT

Have you ever had moments where someone says something so ordinary but at that instant, it hits you with so much momentum that you almost recoil from the impact?

The other day i was travelling back in the cab from office when i overheard this conversation between two people sitting behind me. One of them said to the other:
"The people you like do not reciprocate and the ones who like you are not encouraged."-->(For future reference.. lets call this Theorem #1)

Now thats a very ordinary sentence.. nothing new at all.. but at that moment i remembered that scene from one of the episodes of Friends where Rachel is going to Paris to work for Louis Vuitton. And Gunther comes up to her in the coffee shop and said that he loved her. And she said:"Oh Gunther!! I love you too.. probably not in the same way"I laughed like carzy when i saw it..This is the perfect example for Theorem #1.

I had already seen this scene in that episode.. but only when the people behind me said what they said.. it hit me that the episode i found so funny is actually an offspring of something very deep rooted and omnipresent.

Now, i'm not emotionally a very deep person..but i do observe.. and analyse.. process what i know and leave it somewhere in my head for future reference. If people i know act funny, i do not question them "why?" .. but i do observe it .. analyse what could probably cause it and let it go.. assuming that the funny acts will stop.. that they will come around with time..

Typically, people like me would do the following two things:
The ones who dont reciprocate: To hell with you
The ones who do like you: are taken for granted

Of late, i realised that both are bad moves and Lord alone knows how much trouble i have gotten into with some really good friends of mine for being so dense. As you grow older, you realise how childish you have been all these years and your perspective changes. So now i say the following:
The ones who dont reciprocate: I hope u go to heaven..no actually..i still think "to hell with you".. i guess i have not grown up enough;) he he
The ones who do like you: i'm sorry if i take you for granted and i'll be good in the future:D

Just for the record: Simply because you dont show what you feel does not mean that you DON'T feel!!!

Theatre.. Reality in your Face

Yesterday, i saw another brilliant play by Evam.. ART..a serious comedy... allow me to rewind in time a little bit and go back to basics..

Evam is a well established theatre group from Chennai who do plays mostly in Chennai.. lately they have been trying their luck in Bangalore and have been very successful at it.I got hooked on to plays and theatre thanks to them. My first play was called "Barefoot in the Park" by Evam.

I was so mesmerised by the fact that theatre could be so real.. well it is real.. but what i'm trying to say is that it felt like the story was real and unfolding right in front of your eyes.. All sense of everything around you will fade away and all thats left are the characters and the story..i used to believe that theatre can never be as entertaining as a movie because all they have is props to take the audience into the lives of the characters... but i was wrong.. they have more.. they have sheer raw talent and an appreciative live audience and instant accolades.. no effects.. no technology.. nothing.. all they need is the spontaneous applause.. the cheer.. the sighs..the wrapt attention of the audience right there in front of them.. it is such an adrenalin rush.. they can take u back in time.. into the future.. to paris.. or timbaktoo!!! with absolutely nothing but make believe.. just that. In my opinion, it is the most beautiful form of live art.. the actor can be anything he wants.

A play is a lot harder to pull off because the crowd is right there in front you and there are no retakes.. one mistake will stand out like a large zit on your nose.. everything is about perfect dialogue delivery and even more perfect timing. I believe that theatre artists are by far more talented than the movie stars .. for obvious reasons. The most obvious reason being that the theatre artists get live feedback about their performance every instant and thats a lot of pressure to cope with.. especially when they are not doing so well.

Thats why I LOVE THEATRE..

Back to the present.. ART was about the complicated friendship of three guys who had nothing in common except their tendencies to get into frequent arguments with each other over a white peice of canvas masquerading as a painting. Not one sentence spoken by the three characters was funny to them but the audience was rolling in laughter..Each line in the script was intended to be the words and thoughts of the characters in absolute seriousness.. u have to watch the play and understand why everyone laughed so hard.. all because of the circumstances and the timing.. thats the beauty of this "serious comedy".

I have higher hopes out of the play that they are going to peform this friday onwards..Its called Double Comedy- Hysteria..This one is going to be a complete laugh riot.. one of my favourite actors is going to be acting in this play.. Karthik senior.. who is a fantastic comedian and one of the most brilliant actors i have ever seen.. not to be confused with Karthik Kumar (Junior, who i think is extermely charming ;D because of that oh-so-disarming-smile).

All those who have not given theatre a fair chance should definitely come and check them out this weekend at Rangashankara. Then they can decide whether they were right or wrong about it. I bet you will love it and get hooked to it like i did:))

City Of Angels.. Yeah Right!!! Get Real

I'm scared of dogs.. terrified of them. Because i dont know what they are thinking.. so i'm always imagining that they might just come and bite me or chase me any minute if they want to. I am so scared of them that i dont go for a jog in the morning because there are too many street dogs in this city.

I'm scared of humans..terrified of them. Because i dont know what they are thinking.. so i'm always imagining that they might just come and mug me or hurt me any minute if they want to. I am so scared of them that i dont go for a jog in the morning because there are too many weird people on the street in this city.

What has become of this place? I have to catch a train to go home at 4:15pm today. And i was just informed that i have to be at the station an hour earlier because of security checks... security checks!!!At a Railway Station!!!
I can no longer trust the person standing next to me coz he just may be carrying a knife or a gun or a bomb. FOR WHAT JOY IS HE CARRYING THAT???
What great laurels are they going to accomplish by killing people.. even worse.. killing children??

I wish an alien race would just come and wipe out earth because i dont think we deserve to live anymore if we are no better than those dogs on the street.. in fact we are worse than the dogs on the street

Highway Rhapsodies

Many people have asked me why I named my blog "Highway Rhapsodies"..So here is the story behind it.. When i was little, an old man once told me the following analogy for life:

He said that all throughout childhood and adoloscence,life is like driving in the small town lanes.. You cant wait to get out and enter the fast lane.. As children we are all eager to grow up and live life like all the adults around us do..with freedom.

When we reach our twenties, that is when we reach the "Highway" of our life.. the actual fast lane. He said that if you are responsible and in control of your life, you will go a long way.. but if you dont .. you will simply crash and burn.

Rhapsodies are songs of joy...literature that mainly comprises of tales of freedom and exaltation.

Highway Rhapsodies represent my journey on the Highway of my life along with all thats good and bad during the course. Every incident ..however small or big..good or bad teaches you something about life..making you that much more wiser.. stronger.. that much more closer to a state of complete freedom and exltation

So whether i go a long way or crash and burn.. it will all be right here in this journal:)) All this was explained to me in my mother tongue.. malayalam. I dont know if my translation expalined it half as well he did.

That wise old man was my grandfather